What Will People Think? Who Cares?
Recently, I decided to make some reels (videos) to put on social media. I generally feel inspired to make a reel after a client session or when an idea pops into my head. That energy fuels my creativity and helps me articulate what I want to say. If I stopped to change my shirt, put on make up, get the lighting just right, I would never put out a reel. My initial inspiration would have evaporated. So I picked up my phone while sitting on an old beat up couch with no makeup or jewelry or filters, and I recorded my reel. I thought I got my point across, so I posted it.
Later, I told my sister I was worried I had held the camera too close to my face while recording. And her response was, “who cares?” And this is one of the many reasons I love her. Not only do I love her for saying this to me, I also love her for modeling this herself. She has made a successful career doing things her way and not worrying about what people think. So her “who cares” felt authentic and freeing.
By saying “who cares?”, she was responding to the ever present and futile question of “what will people think” I was worried about what people would think of my unmade up face. What would people think of my dreary couch? Would I not seem “professional” enough? (What does that even mean?)
“What will people think?” has way too much power over us. I see clients grapple with it all the time: what will people think if I stayed home to raise my kids? What will people think if I took a job that was less prestigious than my last job? What will people think if I gained weight? What will people think if I have a messy house? What will people think if I don’t go to the party?
Whenever clients/friends/family come at me with “what would people think?” I immediately know that this is not a reason to do something or not do something. This is not useful information at all. Because what would people think is not important. Why is this not important?
These people are not you.
You really don’t know what people are thinking.
People are not uniform-they are not all the same. It is unlikely that all people will think the same way. Some people may have felt my reels were “unprofessional” and others may have found them liberating and inviting. What people are you worried about and are they your people?
When I wonder about the power of letting go of what we think other people will think, I remember this great George Lucas quote:
“We Are All Living in Cages with The Door Wide Open.” — George Lucas
The cage is often, “what will people think?”
What are ways you are letting go of this worry and doing the thing anyway? How has this freed you in your life?
