Make Your Own Uncool: The Sincerity of Trying Hard

Have you ever watched a a toddler attempt to do something new? Their furrowed brow, tongue sticking out, intense focus to figure something out. The purity of their effort is mesmerizing. They are trying so hard.

I have a tendency to feel hopeful and optimistic when I witness someone trying. There is nothing so vulnerable, so sincere. Trying requires effort. And effort is often considered uncool. The romantic idea that things should come naturally is overrated. I embrace the uncool. As artist Sol DeWitt said when advising artist Eva Hesse:

“Don’t worry about cool, make your own uncool”.

My heart opens when people try. My clients who have the hard conversation, experiment on LinkedIn, attend an event alone, ask for more, give their kids space, set a boundary. All of this is in an effort to take the bull by the horns. Trying to improve their life.

This past week my husband and I rented a beach house and we entertained all week. I don’t usually host this much so I had to figure things out. How do I make people feel welcome, cared for, ensure they feel at home? I don’t know, but I did some research, came up with some ideas and implemented them the best I could. I brought recipes of things I thought would be delicious and not too much work. I tried so hard, I am sure I did not look suave like Martha Stewart or Ina Garten. But I hope the guests knew that I cared. I cared that they enjoyed themselves and I made sure to enjoy myself too. And then I slept for two days straight after everyone left. I am not a gourmet cook. I am not particularly neat. I am not high energy. So I hosted my way and to the best of my ability. And I tried really hard.

What do you want to try to do? What may not come naturally but is worth the effort? What if you don’t look very cool while trying? Can you create your own uncool?