My Dad's Second Bar Mitzvah: At 83 years old

Phew! It happened! My dad celebrated his second Bar Mitzvah this past Saturday.

When you’re dealing with an 83-year-old bar mitzvah boy and grandchildren who are living around the globe and childhood friends who are octogenarians, there’s a constant worry that it will not all come together. Thankfully, it did. Four of my dad’s grandkids showed up in person and three over Zoom. My son Hudson even wore a kippah and collared shirt while he watched the service from his college bedroom. My mom, who is not a morning person (understatement of the century) was there with my dad at 9:20 am sharp. And my nephew, who is in New Zealand for the semester, zoomed in at 2:30 am his time. No one wanted to miss this big event.

So you may be wondering about this second bar mitzvah thing… I had never heard of it either. According to Jewish custom, 70 years as a typical life span. Anything after 70 years is gravy— a second lifetime. Therefore, 13 years after 70 (or 83 years) you are eligible to celebrate a bar mitzvah again. Now, not everyone would consider this a gift. But my dad did. He was over the moon at the opportunity to be a bar mitzvah boy again. And let me tell you, as the kids say, he killed it!

My dad celebrated his second bar mitzvah on the same day (on the Hebrew calendar) as his first Bar Mitzvah at age 13. He had the good fortune to have the very first portion of the year, Bereshit, which is the start of the book of Genesis. The timing could not be more meaningful. We were together celebrating the first Shabbat (Sabbath) after the full return of the hostages to Israel as well as the day of the biggest rally the US has ever had. We were wrapped in tallit, hope and new beginnings.

The day of the event was wonderful! And it was not an accident. My dad had a vision for the event. He knew what was important to him. Here are a few things he did to make the event such a success:

• He told us the date over six months ago so we could all put it in our calendar (and he may of told us more than once 😉)

• He shared his excitement about the event. He was not shy. He made clear how important this was to him.

• He practiced every day. He worked hard to learn the prayers he was to chant on his big day and he spent many hours writing his sermon (D’var Torah)

• He invited the people who were important to him. It was an intimate gathering of those who have been a integral part of his life.

So here is my invitation for you. Think about something that is important to you that you can start working towards. Connect with your “why”—why is this meaningful to you? What work do you need to do to accomplish this? Who needs to know about it? How can you celebrate your achievement? Don’t be shy. Shout it from the rooftops! And watch your village emerge.

What is your version of a second bar mitzvah? We get to choose what is important to us and then we can go for it. L’chaim —To Life!