The Gift of Unconditional Permission

One of the best things I learned in Intuitive Eating is that mental restriction is almost as problematic as actual restriction. One of the hallmarks of intuitive eating is that restriction leads to bingeing. The more you restrict something the more you want it, this is the pendulum that defines diet culture.

If you don’t allow yourself to have sugar, you will just crave sugar all the more. But beyond that, intuitive eating posits that giving yourself a hard time while you are eating sugar is almost as bad as restricting sugar altogether. In other words, if you are having that amazing ice cream cone at the beach and saying “ugh I shouldn’t be eating this” or “I will just eat less tomorrow” or “I will go home and exercise”. This mental restriction has a similar effect as actual restriction. It is simply eating with a side of shame. This continues to make eating an ice cream cone all the more alluring.

The same can be said for rest. If you don’t allow yourself to rest, your body will be tired. But if you do allow yourself to rest but you feel guilty about it, some of the benefits can be taken away. Napping and feeling bad about it definitely does not feel as restful as celebrating a delicious midday nap. And when you ask yourself “why am I so tired?” in an accusatory and judgmental way, we tell ourselves that we don’t deserve rest for the sake of rest, that we must earn it.

A desire for pleasure can feel wrong. Whether it is with food, rest, passion and fun.

Do you say these things?:

-Why am I so tired? I shouldn’t need to rest.

-Why do I want to eat that? I shouldn’t be hungry.

-Why do I want to read a romance novel, I should read something more intellectual.

Our appetite for food, rest and fun are all part of being human and should be celebrated. How do you spoil pleasure with a side of guilt? How can you reframe these as opportunities to celebrate, find joy, be human, live a little? You have earned it just by being human.

Photo by Daniel Öberg on Unsplash