Have you ever felt exhausted after an interaction where you had to pretend to be interested or interesting or smart or funny?

When working with clients on their career, we often find an anchor to help narrow down the job search.

Apparently, I am at the start of this golden decade. How can I make sure I appreciate it and make the most of it?

When I pictured the life of an empty-nester, I pictured freedom, relief, possibility. And while I have definitely had moments of that, it has not been the defining feature of my year.

Now that my kids are off to college and out of the house, Gideon and I are rethinking how we spend our time, energy and money.

Throughout our lives we accumulate rules to follow and then we stick to these rules unaware.

Acting “as if” is a low stakes way to notice in your body how a new situation might feel, get a sense of your skillset and what areas you may to develop, and potentially demonstrate to others that you are ready for the next step.

One of the lessons in the movie is how restricting a talent can be if it is overused. By feeling labeled by a special power, these family members are unable to break out of their shell and ultimately their skill becomes a chore and an obligation and no longer feels like a blessing.

While taking a walk with our dogs, my friend Dave told me that he does his job with the perspective of “what if I got hit by a bus tomorrow?”. While I would never want Dave to get hit by a bus, I think this way of thinking is pretty healthy. It encourages him to make sure he is not the only one who knows how to do something, not to have secrets and try to do everything himself. What would happen in your workplace if you were hit by a bus tomorrow? Do your colleagues know what you are up to? Do they know where you keep things? How quickly could they jump in and keep things running in your absence?

One of the best ways to ensure your colleagues know what to do is to GO. ON. VACATION.

I was walking my dog this morning and practically jumped out of my skin when I saw something moving. Turns out the thing that was moving was me, or more accurately, my shadow. I chuckled for a moment as I thought of the phrase “scared of your own shadow”. I have long had anxiety, so jumping at my shadow should not have shocked me, but it did feel a bit over the top, so I took a minute and asked why. Why was I so jumpy? Then I realized I had just finished two cups of coffee while reading obsessively about the war in Ukraine. I was jumpy because I was internalizing the dangers in the world and I was feeling them strongly. I was feeling vulnerable and reactive.

Today when I did Wordle, my first word had zero correct letters. Clearly I thought I was doomed.

I recently watched a brief but powerful clip of a conversation with Tom Hanks and a group of famous actors. During the talk, Tom Hanks shares his philosophy that “this too shall pass”. He explains that during our highest highs and our lowest lows, this too shall pass. Nothing is permanent (watch the 2 minute video here). This way of thinking protects us from despair and arrogance. I appreciate the reminder of the impermanence of things. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I fall prey to the dangers of “permanence, pervasiveness and personalization”. If something bad is happening, I worry it will never end, that it is BIG and affects my whole life, and that it is my fault. These mind games are what exacerbate our suffering. And when you consider Tom’s advice, you can mistakenly use the three Ps when things are going well too. Your good luck will last forever, affect all areas of your life and you get all the credit. Believing this will only make the inevitable fall from grace more painful.