College Reflections: My son graduates this weekend
My son Hudson is graduating from the University of Pittsburgh this weekend! He is my youngest, so I am saying goodbye to undergrad for my kids forever. My daughter Gabrielle graduated from Bates College in 2023 and is starting graduate school in September. But graduate school is nothing like undergrad, so I must take a moment to acknowledge that another stage of life is behind me.
I have had some time to reflect on life as a mom of a college student and I would love to share some of what I have learned. If you have a kid about to embark on their college journey this coming fall or if you have a kid in nursery school, I have some thoughts (in no particular order):
-Your kid does not need to know how to do their laundry before college (it’s really not that hard to figure out), but they do need to know how to handle challenges that come up. They need to know that they can figure things out. Whether you have a toddler or a teenager, be sure you create opportunities for your kid to develop age appropriate skills and confidence around solving problems.
-If your kid does not get into the college of their dreams they will be fine. I have noticed among my kids and their friends that once they say “yes” to a school they let go of their disappointments and forge ahead.
-Make sure they know that they need to register for classes as soon as registration opens. First year students get the lowest priority, so getting into their preferred classes is tough and registration is usually first come first served.
-Encourage your kid to be a joiner! Have them go to the club fair and join clubs—they can always drop some as they get to know them. Some clubs meet once a year others meet once a week, often you need to join to find out. My daughter named her first year of college “the year of trying new things” and it worked. She joined the sailing club and loved it even though she was a pretty terrible sailer —her favorite day was the day they played wall ball. You just never know.
-You know those kids who just met five minutes ago on campus and are already best friends? Yea, that’s doubtful. Everyone is just latching onto people at first. Some initial friendships stick, some don’t. My kids were slow and steady to build their friend groups and that worked for them. But it is never easy to feel like others have found their people day one. Usually that’s just not true.
-Don’t worry too much on buying things for their dorm room. They can always buy things along the way. Most importantly, make sure they have the things that ground them and keep them healthy: Medicine (so they don’t have to leave their room if they have a fever or stomach ache or a cold), their favorite drinks and snacks, photos, comfy pajamas, headphones and anything else they use on the regular at home.
-Book your hotel for move-in day and family day (usually in the fall) ASAP.
-Encourage your kid to take advantage of resources at school: professors, advisors, tutors, career services, health services (get their flu shot!), their RA. They do not have to do this alone. And you are not their only resource. Let them build their village.
Remember, college is like life. They will have good days and bad days, relationships will ebb and flow, there will be successes and challenges, there will be mistakes, oh lots of mistakes, but also lots of opportunities to learn from them.
Anything to add to this list?
